My DREAM guy

So before anyone says he doesn't exist, note that the word 'dream' was written in capitals :p
Okay let me start by describing his physique and stuff... note again that this is just a mental picture and not compulsory requirements for who I'd love. Lol. Okay so...my dream guy is Idoma (you know...the tribe. From Benue state Nigeria), he's above 6 feet and loves to work out. He's Catholic and loves and respects his mum and sisters. He's 4-7 years older than I am and he's responsible.
    He's very honest. He doesn't smoke or drink...or maybe he drinks just a little. He plays sports on Saturdays with his best friends. He is very driven and has plans for his future. He knows his priorities and sticks to them. He has a good reputation and tries not to tarnish his image. He is charming and has alot of charisma. When he talks in a room, people look at him with respect and admiration. He's most likely a fire sign...like a leo.
    He graduated uni with a 2nd class upper or a 1st class. He has a masters degree also. He is serious about his job and drives a BMW or a Mercedes. Its not too expensive 'cause he's saving up for his future. He's intelligent and when he talks about his work it sounds so brilliant that its more arousing than phone sex. He has the best jokes! He makes me laugh and he loves music.
     He's not a flirt. He loves watches, ties, suits, perfumes, wine and cars. He takes religion seriously and respects me and the choices I make. The words "bitch" or "whore" aren't common in his vocabulary and he doesn't disrespect females. He opens doors for me and waits for me to go into a building first. He kisses my forehead, neck, cheeks, hands and bellybutton. And he tickles me and holds my hands and my waist in public. He carries me on his laps and on his back too.
   He notices every tiny detail about me and kisses away my scars and flaws. He never makes me doubt...not even for a second that he's all mine and that his feelings are genuine. He invites me over to play x-box. And we have picnics together, and take walks and play pool together. He buys me flowers, bracelets and teddies. We buy matching tshirts and sneakers. He's never too proud to show emotion or say he's sorry. He wears clean underwear. He doesn't wear the same one for days until it starts to stink.
   He can speak French with my Dad or talk about countries he has visited, politics, sports, business and news with my Dad. His mum and sisters love me. He doesn't act all thirsty and so he can just cuddle with me and kiss me. We're best friends, and he tells me about his hopes and dreams...his fears...how his day went and what annoys him.
    Oh and maybe he plays the piano or guitar...paints or writes poetry. He doesn't think of himself as greater than me, he knows I will cook and clean because I want to; he doesn't see women as just baby birthing house cleaning bed warmers. And he just...loves me you know. Not because of what I can give him and not for any selfish reasons. He loves me just because.
   And he would buy me an engagement ring worth his three month salary, and he'll propose in a very romantic way that would take my breath away ♡♡ and we'd have a perfect wedding and go on a honey moon on some island somewhere.
And we'd live happily ever after.

Letter to my ex.

Hi fucker,

What have you been up to? No good I'm sure. Well its not like I care, or maybe I do...just a little. But it's not like I want to care. Anyways...I've been thinking about you alot. And talking about you alot. Can you believe its been 7 months? Even though we weren't technically together, its been 7 months since I had to deal with your fuckery.
    And lately its been clearer to me...all the shit I had to put up with, and how fucked up -you were- it was. I've been doing more than thinking about you since the last time we were cool though. I've been becoming a better person. You were like this black abyss that just kept sucking me in...making me worse. And I loved you. God...I loved you so bad. But I've come to terms with the fact that it'll never be enough...I was never enough. I've stopped thinking its something I did though. You're too fucked up for anyone. God! How was I ever with you? You made me so insecure...always saw what the other girls had that I didn't. And I somehow ended up hating the girls instead of you. Lol. My self esteem, confidence...all died cos of you.
    I know you're probably wondering where all this anger and hate is coming from coz we dont have a real reason for "breaking up". Remember all the shit you did to me? Lying, cheating, telling me you don't care about val's while you went ahead and val'd someone else? Forgetting our anniversary (assuming we dated...which we never really did. Anniversary since the first time we kissed. Anyways), making me lie about loving you to people, saying bad things about the people I care about, screwing my friends, not watching me on stage at the pageant and that time I performed, telling me you don't like the way I dress (you know, that day I wore the sweat pants and slippers)
   Omg I could go on and on. Well turns out I never forgave you for all the fuckery. I just thought I did. You were a fucking...stone...in my path to greatness. But a stepping stone :) You made me better. Wiser. And I won't be like one of those girl's screwed over by your kind who stop to believe in love anymore. Because now I know what we had wasn't love. Yes it was real... so real it hurt. But it was something else. Something bad that ate me up without me realising.
   You know you used to be my sun :) my very centre. You made me feel like everything was brighter. And when we fight and I was without you I'd go crazy. Lol. But I was crazy all along. To even be in that unhealthy thing with you. I was crazy. Young. Gullible. Foolish.
   I hope I made you better. You definitely made me better. I'm still not sure what true love is like. But thanks to you. Im hella sure what true love isn't. You were my most important lesson. I hurt. I have scars to show for it. But it was worth it I guess.
   I have two of your tshirts with me. I don't know if to burn them, turn them into rags or return them. Or keep them for memories. Memories won't be a problem tho. You made sure you carved them in very painfully.
   I miss you. But now I know I was only blinded by feelings. I don't want an explanation anymore. I understand now that you're just screwed up. I hope you stop smoking all that crap. Stay healthy and try to be better. Im trying. Maybe we can both be better and we'd be real friends one day. And be honest with yourself. Try to become a good person. Love God. I know He loves us both. I've been closer to Him lately (although I've been swearing in this letter).
    I'd get over all of it one day. I wish you happiness. Everyone deserves that at least. Have a nice day. Merry Christmas.

     Xx,
BELLA

P.S You never told me I was beautiful. I wonder if it was ever real for you.

Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) hair rinse

Apple cider vinegar, otherwise known as cider vinegar or ACV, is a type of vinegar made from cider or "apple must" and has a pale to medium ambercolor. 
  The P.H of ACV is between 4.25- 5.0 if undiluted; which is almost the same as the P.H of normal hair and scalp (4.5-5.5) .
Now that we've had a science lesson ^.^ I'd tell you why your hair needs regular ACV rinses.

Benefits:
- Most people use shampoos that aren't SLS (Sodium Lauryl Sulphate) free. And most of these products have a P.H of 8 which severely alters the PH of hair, damaging the hair cuticle. ACV "resets" hair P.H.
- Over time, use of products and chemicals on our hair causes "build-up", and the hair strands end up  being coated with product residue without our knowing. The hair stops growing because it can no longer absorb any moisture or nutrients. ACV clears up build-up on the hair cuticle, roots and scalp.
-Due to strain on hair strands, the hair cuticle becomes raised and "chaff-like". ACV smoothes down the raised ends of the cuticle, closing them up and making our hair shinier.
-ACV takes care of split ends, scanty hair or hair loss and is also a natural conditioner. It helps hair absorb more moisture from products and the environment.
 
    So now we've done the theory and know some benefits of ACV rinses, time for practicals ^.^
Some people mix ACV with their shampoo, or conditioners and DC mixes, but the rinse is easiest for me and that is what I'm going to share. You can reseach other ways to use ACV on your hair.

What you need:

* A bottle with a nozzle: (an empty lotion or shampoo bottle should do) for easy management when pouring the mix on your hair
* Apple cider vinegar: most people prefer the Bragg's ACV brand because its unfiltered but I couldn't find that so I used Heinz. Was about 750 naira. You should find one at any food store.
*Distilled water. If you cant get distilled water, tap water or "pure water" (lol) would do just fine.

Steps:
Normally, an ACV rinse comes after shampooing/ co-washing (washing with conditioner if you dont like to use shampoos) and before conditioning or DC-ing (deep conditioning) so that the hair is neutralised but also conditioned.

Warning: Over use or lack of diluting in proper proportions can cause shaft–breakage, frayed ends, dryness and brittleness, or more porous hair.

1) In the bottle, mix 6- 10 parts water with 1 part ACV. Or just put 2 table spoons ACV to 1 cup of water.
2) apply to hair, using your fingers or a wide tooth comb to spread and detangle.
3) Allow it sit for 3-5 mins and then thoroughly rinse off with water.
4) Follow with conditioning or DC-ING if needed

**the smell might stick for a while ^.^ sowwie
ACV rinses are recommended once a week if you leave your hair out and use product daily/often. And about once a month or as needed if you don't.

Hope that helps.
Bye xx,
Bella.

Imperfections

Everyone knows that no one is perfect, but we never stop trying. And sometimes we judge one another, love people less and think less of ourselves and others 'cos of our flaws.
   They say your perception of others is a reflection of your struggle within yourself. Many times we're a thousand times more critical about judging ourselves, and it ends up affecting how we look at people around us.
   "Your pores are too large", "your teeth aren't white enough", "your waist is too wide". I want you to remember that no one looks at you that closely, and all that envy, insecurity and jealousy isn't because of what the other person is. It is because of what you are inside. And I want you to change that.
   Alot of times people say. "Omg you're so perfect" and we cant accept these complements because we know our flaws more than anyone else. And if people call you fat, ugly, skinny, unattractive...you have to remember that it means nothing if you don't think it/believe it yourself.
   I like to think of myself as beautifully flawed. You know. Like when an elephant makes an abstract painting and it just happens to be beautiful? That way it helps me accept my flaws more and think of myself as unique and rare instead of weird.
   And when we treat people less because of their imperfections or when someone breaks up with their partner 'cos they found someone more beautiful/attractive/popular. Or when we obsess over that celebrity because we think they are perfect, we must remember that no one is. And we must accept ourselves and others as they are.

"...Sometimes you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and love you, that way you can teach anybody else..." - Angel Haze
(This is me- reservation E.P.- 2012)

Annoying things on Teusdays and other days

Hello you guys! Its a lovely Tuesday isn't it. Well Im bored as always, scrolling through my twitter TL and came up with a list of things that annoy me. I decided to share them with you:

1) Males using "bitch" or "whore/ Ho" as their default word for females. Not only do I find this degrading and disrespectful, it tells alot about a guy and the way he would treat his girl. You're not 2chainz. Stop it.

2) Arguing with people with great vocabularies. Omgosh this can be sooo frustrating. I have a sister with a great vocabulary. Lol. But like on twitter, intelligent people with dumb points just make us average Joes and Janes look like we dont know what we're saying (even when we're right). I have to buy a dictionary ._.

3) Sarcasm. There's this saying "Sarcasm is the dullest form of wit". That goes out to everyone who thinks they're so smart and ergo can come up with sarcastic things to say. < was that sarcastic? Anyways...don't use that with me -_-

4) Tyler the creator.

5) People asking if you wanna be anorexic just 'cos you wanna be trim and fit. Just so you all know...slim people get negative comments as much as fat people. Just let people look however they want to look. Hope these definitions come in handy:

- anorexic (adj): Suffering from or afflicted with anorexia nervosa.
- fit (adj): * to be of proper shape or size
OR
"a set of attributes that people have or achieve that relates to the ability to perform physical activity" (USDHHS, 1996)
- trim: to be in good physical condition
Or
To remove excess (fat)

6) Moving on from the english lesson, people acting as narrators/ translators when you're watching a movie. Like they think they need to dumb down the movie. Saying things like "did you hear what he said he means..."
Like. Be quiet. I know what he means.

7) Cyber bullying. People being plain mean just 'cos they have alot of followers or just to get attention and RTs. Freedom of speech doesn't mean you MUST say something. Like many mums say "if you have nothing good to say, be quiet". People have feelings -_-

8) People being weists *in Chi-gurl's voice* Why is all you want to do drink and smoke and you're so young. Then you get invited to things and act all bored and like you're too trill to be doing this. Like the world should be entertaining you. We are young!!! Do things!!! Be alive. How do you expect to truly live when you're not sober half the time?

9) Laughing too loud. Omg.     Just.   No.

10) Not bowing down to my awesomeness ^.^ 

Have a beautiful day people.
Xo,
Bella.

New blog, first post:) hey hey

Hello everyone! So with ASUU strike and every, I've been super bored lately and I think alot and have ALOT to say. Lol. Some of you may have noticed from my tweets (tweeting to much). So I decided hey instead of bothering people while not start a blog and channel that boredom!
   And there you have it. This is my new blog. My name is Mabel Alubo. And oh this blog has no theme (it's not for/about anything in particular. ..I'm just gonna blog randomly.  From hair to music to whatever). Follow me!

Twitter & IG: @BellaAlubo
Tumblr: bellarina9.tumblr.com